This upsets me for a number of reasons.

1. Why is he wearing sunglasses? It’s clear to see that it’s sometime in the evening, according to the harsh brightness of his lamp. I mean, just look at the shadows and observe the spot of piercing light on those shades. He’s squinting like he’s looking directly into sunlight, but he’s indoors anyway so why in God’s name is he wearing sunglasses?

2. He didn’t even introduce himself or properly say hi. All he said was, “I hope u like what u see.” NO SIR, NO. I DON’T LIKE WHAT YOU’VE SCARRED MY EYES AND SOUL WITH.

3. This pose. Definitely tried this pose through an in-home Pilates program a couple years ago. It’s not easy, and I’m sure his balls hurt from doing it so robustly. And how did he manage to place his chin so delicately on the other hand? It’s like he channeled all of his strength to gripping that hair-riddled leg and the rest of him is a ballerina.

4. Okay it just occurred to me that he’s not wearing pants. I am going to flag your ass as inappropriate, mister!

5. It’s like staring at a kitten playing Patty Cake with another kitten. I can’t stop.